It's in the blood...

I sit, in front of my computer screen, with the hopes that something, anything, will magically appear and provide readers with some food for thought or some profound insight on, well, anything. I sit here thinking of what I can write as a first-time blogger that will illuminate aspects of the thoughts in my mind; while, at the same time, writing material that provides something deeper than an account of a personal diary. I imagine writing something to inform, motivate, and entertain readers and I would hope to find, with any luck, that my efforts aren’t in vain and my writings aren’t being sent into the black hole of cyberspace. Realistically, however, I know that my followers would equal less than what I can count on one hand and they would, more than likely, be my family members.

When I first told my mom about the blog, she asked me, “Well, is it interesting?” Seeing that I first planned putting photos, teasers and various email forwards I had received…I told her, “I’m not sure.” It was to my surprise to find that she not only supported this blogging idea of mine, but she also had recommendations. My mom told me I should write about something that I know. I should write about something I am good at. She suggested I write about my kids…the students I have taught and children I have cared for throughout the years.

Our family is very close-knit and we have always believed family comes first. My grandma had been working with me on instilling her family values and beliefs before I came out of my mom’s womb. She always emphasized the importance of the matriarchal blood line and how important it is for the women to be connected. I am the only granddaughter and it is important to know how valuable I am as a female. “It is our blood that gets passed from my mom to me…then to your tía and your mom…and to you.” My grandma would constantly remind me. That was her reasoning for everything. She has always used that as the foundation for any discussion combined with a concluding argument that involved us as a collective whole:

01. If I didn’t want to follow my mom’s rules, it’s in the blood…“we have to listen.”

02. If I wanted to break away and create my own identity, it’s in the blood…“we are all the same and need to stick together.”

03. If I wanted to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge…“you’d be splattering all of our blood.”


I think one of the most memorable “blood lessons,” began when I hit sixteen. She would tell me, “It’s very important, when you have a baby, to have a girl. We need to continue our blood. You’re the only girl. So, it’s up to you to have a baby girl, because you’re our only granddaughter. Don’t have one now…you’re too young, but later you need to have a baby girl.” …as if I could dictate what sex my child would be. She has cut back on that specific lecture. With me hitting twenty-nine, I think she has given up on that “lesson.”

My brief blog conversation with my mom was very insightful. I have always followed her lead. I always tried to do something she approved of and then failed miserably, because, despite our blood line, my mom and I think very differently. I’ve changed my major seven times, at least, in an attempt to please her and, yet, I found myself back in education. It took my mom a few years to notice, yes, being an educator is not a choice…it is a calling. I realized that she accepted my calling and supported my endeavors in education. I, also, interpreted that she encouraged the blogging idea, making it easier for me to pursue this secret aspiration of mine.

I am now here…in the moment. I had no clue what to write about, but I have my blog written. It definitely illuminated thoughts that crossed my mind. Is it insightful? I guess you could say it provides some insight on my personal history. Did I provide something deeper than an account of a personal diary? Hmm. I’m not sure about that one. Although, I am glad that I will have more opportunities to grow as a blogger and, with time, perhaps things will become deeper, informative, motivational and entertaining.

...I vant to see you back March 10th.