Monday, July 30, 2012

Don't Push Me

“Bully”



Noun : Corned Beef

Noun : Person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker

Noun : Person who hurts, persecutes, or intimidates weaker people

Noun : Person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, expecially to smaller or weaker people

Noun : A hired ruffian; a thug

Noun : A pimp

Verb : Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants

Verb : To make (one’s way) aggressively

Verb : To treat in an overbearing or intimidating manner

Adjective : Very good; first-rate

Exclamation : An expression of admiration or approval



Need I go on? Granted, most of these are archaic…the ones defining “bully” in a positive manner. Nonetheless, there are your definitions taken from google, the free dictionary and other various internet dictionary sources. I, personally, like the “Corned Beef” explanation.

Bullies and bullying has been widely discussed through various mediums. News media cover the public displays of bullying. Twitter and YouTube cover youths (sometimes adults) at the scene of the bullying incidents. Even Comedy Central’s“South Park” did a show about bullying. We have internet articles on defining and preventing bullying. There are programs out there to help those who are bullied. Yet, the battle lives on and these Corned Beefs continue to make their way aggressively.

There are many kinds of bullies…from childhood through adults, real life and cyber life…we can find bullying everywhere. I have, yet, to understand why people do what they do. For bullies to perpetuate such hate, it must be damaging to their soul. Mustn’t it? For the victims searching many ways to prevent such hate from infecting their soul…that has got to be rough. At the same time, I am a realist and – as much as you may hate what I am about to say – there will always be bullies and there will always be victims; Just like we will always have the rich and the poor. It will never stop. As a matter of fact, trying to stop it will, often, make it worse for the victim. It’s sad, I know, but true.

I work with many kids, including bullies. Yes, I try to enlighten them of their ways, but it is very challenging and time-consuming to do so. At the same time, I work with the victims of such abuse. It’s easier to work with the victims, because they want change! They want to be stronger and not be bullied anymore. How do I help them? I tell them to quit whining and stand up strong…ready to fight. I teach them easy hits – I learned back in the day when I had to fight guys twice my size, because they groped me – and how to bring the “big boys”down. The hardest part, though, is telling them these things and knowing that their parents are saying, “Just ignore them. When you get older…you’ll be better off than them.”

I choose to believe it’s true. I want to believe that the victims of today will be the Bill Gates of tomorrow. Yet, how can you tell a child who is at the end of his or her rope to “just ignore them.” This is why we have victim deaths. We don’t provide them with the tools they need to survive the wild. We are leaving them out in a battlefield with no weapon and no backup. The backup we do provide – telling an authority figure or enlisting the help of programs – only make things worse for these victims. We need the weak to become strong.

One of my most challenging, soul-searching bully backup is when a child must face an adult bully. We train our children to behave and be submissive to adults. Then we have such ignoramuses bullying children, because they aren’t Corned Beef enough to handle their own age group. How do we fix that? To be honest, where are the websites addressing those issues?

Nowhere…Why? We want our children in the school system to be emotion-less robots. Instead of raising children to do what is polite, how about raising them to politely question things and people? It not only helps them to learn that it’s okay to ask questions, but also shows that it’s okay to ask adults question when something doesn’t seem quite right. The most intelligent people have questioned authority figures. They have also gotten in trouble a lot, but that is our job…to protect children when they do have questions…not silence them.

One of the children that I work with is a victim of bullying. He is a victim of dog attacks, peer attacks and adult mind games. I can see the self-esteem dwindle and all I want to do is show him how to fight back, how to politely question authority and how to call out a bully when he meets one. Unfortunately, I am not his parent and don’t have the authority to do so.

Like I said before, we will always have the rich and poor, the users and abusers, the bullies and the victims. It is only when we provide the tools required to strengthen the weak; that is when we can minimize the outcome of bullies. We are not training bullies. We are training survivors.

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