Wally's Vendetta

I’ve never liked Wal-Mart. Wally World and I have a hate-hate relationship. I hate Wally and he hates me. We’ve grown to accept that as a fact of life. There are times I try to make amends and go visit Wally. I find that I’m low on sugar or milk. Oh, no…Wally reminds me of his vendetta against me. Yes, indeed, he does have a vendetta against me.

One thing about Wal-Mart, there is absolutely no space. There is no space for people, no space for stockers and no space for privacy. I have, on many occasions, found shoppers checking out my cart for one reason or another. Why is that? Why must they feel the need to seek entertainment in other people’s carts?!?

The worst grocery-seeking shoppers are the elderly women. I have learned to take my iPod and plug my earphones in to avoid shopper contact. Yet, these women have no regards to music-loving avoidances. Time and time again, I feel the tap on my shoulder or the breath down my neck. My spine shivers as I turn to see the denture-smiling face. I, then, have to pull out my earphones and say, “Oh, I’m sorry. I was listening to my music;” Thus inviting a conversation.

One of the worst conversations I had was in the television dinner isle. One lady stopped me to ask why I have so many TV dinners. In response, I explained that I like to have them for dinner. “A lady like [me] should really learn how to cook,” was her response. Of course, she had to include the infamous, “How will you find yourself a nice husband if you can’t cook?” In an attempt to throw her off loop, I quickly responded, “I’m married.”

“Well, then, why don’t you wear a wedding ring?”

Darn, she got me there…

Once again, Wally, your vendetta against me is clear!