Social Pariah

“All mankind is of one author, and is of one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated…As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon, calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come: so this bell calls us all: but how much more me, who am brought so near the door by this sickness…No man is an island, entire of itself…any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”¹ “Human beings do not thrive when isolated from others;” therefore, we must look outward to work on ourselves. What we do creates the butterfly effect and plays a role in other patterns.

What does that mean for me? I like my island very much and I like to travel to my island a lot. Sometimes the natives kick me out – they think I’m crazy – but for the most part I enjoy my solitude on my lovely island with unicorns and rainbows. I understand the need for us to look outward in order for us to grow. A lifetime isn’t enough time to learn all of one’s mistakes…we must learn from each other. On a more personal note, I feel that our soul isn’t pretty unless we seek to better society through helping others achieve their goals. With that said…what is the big hubbub about being with others?

I am a social pariah. I am a single woman at twenty-nine years old. I have never been married and, well, never been in a serious relationship. The closest to a long term relationship I had was with a guy for three months and it closely resembled “Shaimee’s” relationship from “The Big Bang Theory.” “One must kiss many frogs before she finds her prince,” I have been told MANY, countless times. My theory is…why the heck am I going to go around kissing frogs and getting warts when I can just spot the frog with the crown and kiss him?

I know what I want in life. I know what kind of man I want in life. Until I find him, I’m going to be single and happy. I have gone to restaurants alone, movies alone and played the third wheel many times. However, I try to enjoy myself and, besides playing the third wheel, I have enjoyed my “me time” immensely.

Of course, no man is an island and, when one tends to prefer single-dom, society has a tendency to berate those who have their islands…for reasons unknown to me. Single women have the labels of being ugly or high-maintenance. There is also a new label coming out that single women are shallow. Since when is it bad to not settle? We push our children to do their best and aim for the starts. Why can’t we do the same in relationships? How come people feel the need to pair others up, when they have nothing in common? Why must we kiss every frog instead of waiting for that one with the crown?

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1) Donne, John. (2012). Devotions upon emergent occasions and seuerall steps in my sickness –Meditation XVII, 1624. Retrieved from The Phrase Finder.