Why do we use this
excuse? Ultimately, it is supporting instant gratification in the long run;
whether it be a dog or a child. I am not one to compare animals to children.
When a fellow coworker of mine compared breaking a horse’s spirit to breaking a
child’s spirit before “training them,” I swore to myself I would never compare
raising children to raising animals. Despite this vow, I have done so many
times.
I am a great Cesar
Millan fan. In all honesty, I really should start reading his books and buying
his products…instead of watching “The Dog Whisperer” and using that as my sole
means of understanding dogs. Even with that, it still helps a lot. I have
learned that a “calm and submissive dog is a happy dog.” The most peaceful
times my dogs have are when (1) the treat giver – aka my mom – and (2) the
aggression builder – aka my dad – aren’t around. Do they seem happier when it
is only me? No, not really…but they are able to relax and sleep freely.
During my second
semester in college, I was supposed to observe an eighth grade classroom during
my practicum work; keyword…observe. Unfortunately, I was assigned to a
classroom where the teacher was retiring at the end of the semester. I learned
very quickly that, if a teacher is retiring, there is little concern for the
students’ actions. Upon opening the door, I saw students throwing paper wads
across the room, pencils and spit-wads at the ceiling, passing notes to each other,
and two students jumping from desk to desk while the rest were covering their
heads to avoid this chaos. Were the students having fun? You betcha’! Is
allowing this behavior good for them? Of course not.
I sat in the far back
left corner of the classroom, dodging anything being thrown or any child
jumping around within my vicinity, for about ten minutes. The unproductive
noise level could be heard in Timbuktu. The teacher, seemingly oblivious to all
that was going on, was perfectly content writing social studies facts on the
board. It was pure chaos. When I had enough, I walked up to him and asked if I
could help. He gave me his lesson plans and several piles of books and papers
and told me to be ready the next day.
The following day,
sure enough, I entered the classroom in the same condition and state of energy
as the previous day. Did they like jumping around desk to desk? Yeah. Did they
enjoy messing around and not learning? From what it looked like, yep. Was this
a positive environment for them? No…kids were afraid of getting trampled on
their own desk! I took the alpha dog role to another level and became the alpha
teacher. Within minutes, kids were in their seats, pencils stayed in the hands
of students and not in the ceilings of schools and papers were written on
instead of thrown. Were they having fun? Not as much as they were before, but I
had them smiling and laughing. Was this a better environment for them? You
betcha’!
I don’t like to use
the word “hate” often. It loses its emphasis if you overuse the word. In this
instance, it is well deserved. I absolutely hate the excuse or the reasoning,
“They like it.” We like many things. Kids like to experiment by sticking forks
into electrical outlets to see what happens…or pour water onto a lighted bulb
to cool it down (guilty!). We like to stuff our bellies with great-tasting,
bad-for-us foods. We like the euphoric feeling of sex, drugs and alcohol. Does
this give us permission to do such things without discretion? I would hope so…I
mean, “No!”
Why must we use this reasoning to
justify things we think won’t matter? We need to realize that it is the smaller
issues that lead to the big problems. What is simple growling and grunting with
the dogs may lead to aggression with strangers and biting children…thinking
it’s all playful fun. What passing notes in class leads to is students shouting
and jumping across desks. If we nip it in the bud, we will not have these
issues. We will also be able to emphasize the benefits of constructive fun
rather than chaotic, uncontrolled fun.
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