Motivation

Intrinsic Motivations refers to motivation deriving from within an individual rather than external rewards. “I do it because I love to do it.” External motivation, on the other hand, is motivation towards a goal due to its external reward (money, admiration, respect).
 
Steven Reiss, an Ohio State University Professor argues that “a diverse range of human emotions can’t be forced into these categories of intrinsic and extrinsic motivations…there is no real evidence that intrinsic motivation even exists.”
 
I began looking into motivation, because, besides blogging my progress, I can’t find enough motivation to get back on the wagon. That’s when I came across these ideas and theories.
 
Is it true? Does intrinsic motivation really exist? Or is it a way for us humans to delve into our need to categorize and make sense of things?
 
I thought my wanting to lose weight was driven by intrinsic motivation, but, in a way, it’s not. I want to wear my thin clothes, strut my stuff, flaunt what I got, be able to focus better by exercising, feel less knee pain…and on, and on. Extrinsic motivation.
 
Perhaps, I need to find an extrinsic factor that will be stronger than my intrinsic motivator to be a couch potato? Yeah, that’s it.

My Epiphany

Welcome back. As you may have read, I had an epiphany moment in which I chose to share with my fellow friends and bloggers. I shared the foundation of this epiphany, which I strongly encourage y’all to read, December 10^th. I will now share the actual epiphany…

I have never been a fan of using sign language to promote delayed speech. In my, nearly decade long, time of working with children who have special needs – such as speech development delay – I have only seen a handful of students succeed. This would probably have been the same handful of students who would have succeeded anyway. The majority of children that I have been around have stayed the same or regressed.

For those of you not familiar with this new speech therapy fad, students – in particular toddlers – behind in their speech development are taught sign language. The goal is to associate the sound of the word and the sign cue to progress speech development and communication. This fad has become so popular that mothers are trying to get ahead of the game by teaching their infants sign language. If you have watched “Tia & Tamera” on Style Network, you will see how successful sign language becomes with infants and toddlers. We are gaining wonderful outcomes from these children. They are learning to communicate through sign language.

Wait a minute…wasn’t the goal to help children with their speech delays?!? Yup, that’s right. We forgot. These children have become so dependent on sign language communication that their speech has fallen by the wayside. Initial goal…epic fail.

Don’t get me wrong. When I had my toddler classroom, I was working with these kids in three different languages (English, Spanish, and American Sign Language). These children have sponge-like minds that absorb quite a bit. One of my more advanced toddler classes, I was able to teach them counting and addition. It was all through memorization. The concept behind mathematics is far too complex for them. However, I have had a few parents get in touch with me – now that their children are in the early elementary stages – telling me how they were able to apply math concepts at an earlier age and they are ahead of the group. So, I am not against accelerated learning. There is an acceptable moment to expand on such learning curves and apply complex thought processes. This fad is not one that I would deem appropriate.

We want our children to learn to communicate with the world. The majority of the world does not understand American Sign Language…nor would they understand signs created between mother/father and child. We are providing inappropriate methods to encourage communication. Even Annie Sullivan, Helen Keller’s teacher, through her harsh methods understood the importance of speech and written word. Many parents and therapists are failing to demand the sound of the word with the sign…

“WA-TER.”

Yes, it is difficult to watch your own child struggle. I have difficulty watching them struggle and they aren’t my children. We must remember the words of Frederick Douglass, “If there is no struggle, there is no progress.” It hurts and it is much easier to accept a sign for communication, but that is easy. We must teach our children the value of hard work and dedication.

“No. I need to hear ‘ba,’ if you want your blanket.”

We teach them rewards and praise for a difficult task accomplished…

“Great job. I love hearing your sounds/words. Here is your blanket.”

We empower them and guide them to become stronger beings through the struggle. Children can now communicate through speech…now, let’s introduce the second language.

…the speech therapy fad, able to produce wonderful outcomes, does not necessarily mean it’s the right thing to do.

The Pavlovian Children

I apologize if I report inaccurate information. I have thoroughly enjoyed watching “Dark Matters” on the Science channel and, after having a conversation with one of my families, I have had an epiphany moment…one which I am about to share with you. To better explain this epiphany, I must explain one of the Science channels “Dark Matters;” one that I have seen quite a while ago and don’t remember the complete details, but here I go…bear with me.

Ivan Pavlov began a study on classical conditioning…a study we know as “Pavlov’s dog.” He strapped a dog down and every time a bell rings a doggie gets a treat. Let’s admit it…you wanted to complete that quote with the “It’s a Wonderful Life” little girl quote. We all know it. C’mon…say it. Okay, digressing here…

A Pavlovian student, amazed by these results, wanted to carry this study to the next step. How so? Humans. By tapping into the primal instincts of human; however, adults would try to become wise to the study…try to figure out the why’s and how’s. No, no. He needed a human closely tied to the natural human-animal instinct and who better to use than children? After all, we adults are constantly working to educate our children on proper social etiquette. We want our children to eat with utensils, stand up straight, and not belch or fart in public. We are eliminating any animalistic/primate behaviors that children are born with for the sake of social etiquette. I am not for or against this issue, but that, my readers, is for another blog. Back to the Pavlovian student…

The student sought out orphans to complete his scientific studies. He would strap these children down to prevent any movement. Then, using a mechanism he created to put in their mouth, he completed a similar study to Pavlov’s dog. The children would feel a vibration or some kind of trigger and receive a cookie. After performing this task long enough, he would use the trigger action, but no cookie would follow. The measured salivation was equal to those previous studies with the cookies. We have classic conditioning amongst humans. Pavlov walked in and caught his student performing these studies…

“Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant.” Ivan Pavlov was amazed and intrigued. Thus began the Pavlovian children.

They completed the Pavlovian children studies. We now have classic cognitive behavioral conditioning with the thanks of this work. Cognitive behavioral conditioning that many psychologists guides their clients to use. Cognitive behavioral conditioning taught to educators to apply in a classroom. Yes, my readers, such a horrendous study can produce such wonderful outcomes.

Now, on to my epiphany…

…meet me December 20^th.

They Like It

I don’t like pointless noise. I don’t like uncontrolled energy with the dogs. Mainly because, when you grunt and growl with our dogs – more specifically Kujo – and raise their energy level, they become out of control and want to bite and attack…in a playful manner, but bite and attack all the same. I am clueless to this urge my dad feels, when “playing” with the dogs, to raise them to such an excited state. I also am frustrated at his mentality of excusing this behavior with “but they like it.”

Why do we use this excuse? Ultimately, it is supporting instant gratification in the long run; whether it be a dog or a child. I am not one to compare animals to children. When a fellow coworker of mine compared breaking a horse’s spirit to breaking a child’s spirit before “training them,” I swore to myself I would never compare raising children to raising animals. Despite this vow, I have done so many times.

I am a great Cesar Millan fan. In all honesty, I really should start reading his books and buying his products…instead of watching “The Dog Whisperer” and using that as my sole means of understanding dogs. Even with that, it still helps a lot. I have learned that a “calm and submissive dog is a happy dog.” The most peaceful times my dogs have are when (1) the treat giver – aka my mom – and (2) the aggression builder – aka my dad – aren’t around. Do they seem happier when it is only me? No, not really…but they are able to relax and sleep freely.

During my second semester in college, I was supposed to observe an eighth grade classroom during my practicum work; keyword…observe. Unfortunately, I was assigned to a classroom where the teacher was retiring at the end of the semester. I learned very quickly that, if a teacher is retiring, there is little concern for the students’ actions. Upon opening the door, I saw students throwing paper wads across the room, pencils and spit-wads at the ceiling, passing notes to each other, and two students jumping from desk to desk while the rest were covering their heads to avoid this chaos. Were the students having fun? You betcha’! Is allowing this behavior good for them? Of course not.

I sat in the far back left corner of the classroom, dodging anything being thrown or any child jumping around within my vicinity, for about ten minutes. The unproductive noise level could be heard in Timbuktu. The teacher, seemingly oblivious to all that was going on, was perfectly content writing social studies facts on the board. It was pure chaos. When I had enough, I walked up to him and asked if I could help. He gave me his lesson plans and several piles of books and papers and told me to be ready the next day.

The following day, sure enough, I entered the classroom in the same condition and state of energy as the previous day. Did they like jumping around desk to desk? Yeah. Did they enjoy messing around and not learning? From what it looked like, yep. Was this a positive environment for them? No…kids were afraid of getting trampled on their own desk! I took the alpha dog role to another level and became the alpha teacher. Within minutes, kids were in their seats, pencils stayed in the hands of students and not in the ceilings of schools and papers were written on instead of thrown. Were they having fun? Not as much as they were before, but I had them smiling and laughing. Was this a better environment for them? You betcha’!

I don’t like to use the word “hate” often. It loses its emphasis if you overuse the word. In this instance, it is well deserved. I absolutely hate the excuse or the reasoning, “They like it.” We like many things. Kids like to experiment by sticking forks into electrical outlets to see what happens…or pour water onto a lighted bulb to cool it down (guilty!). We like to stuff our bellies with great-tasting, bad-for-us foods. We like the euphoric feeling of sex, drugs and alcohol. Does this give us permission to do such things without discretion? I would hope so…I mean, “No!”

Why must we use this reasoning to justify things we think won’t matter? We need to realize that it is the smaller issues that lead to the big problems. What is simple growling and grunting with the dogs may lead to aggression with strangers and biting children…thinking it’s all playful fun. What passing notes in class leads to is students shouting and jumping across desks. If we nip it in the bud, we will not have these issues. We will also be able to emphasize the benefits of constructive fun rather than chaotic, uncontrolled fun.

Shurfine’s “Spicy Cheese Dip”

Another one of Shurfine’s recipe’s found on the back of their Shurefine Wavy All Natural Potato Chip bag. Yes. I know, I know. We are slowly working our way back to weight loss topics…maybe.

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Spicy Cheese Dip

1 1/2 lb. Cheese Quik*

1 (14.5oz. can) Fire Roasted Diced Tomatoes*
1 (4oz. can) Diced Green Chiles*

In a saucepan, on low heat, slowly melt cheese. Drain the tomatoes and chiles. When cheese is melted, add tomatoes and chiles. Mix and cook for five minutes. Makes about 2 cups.

* Denotes other quality Shurfine® products

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Shurfine’s “Onion Dip”

I found it!

Thanks to my pack-rat/hoarding mentality, I found a stack of papers with the recipe fromShurfine Wavy All Natural Original Chips. If you will check out my June 10^th blog…I discussed “Chips and Dip.” You are reading correctly. That is what I’m writing about on my blog following my attempts at weight loss.

For any brave soul willing to create the product of this recipe, please let me know what you think.

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Onion Dip

1 1/2 c. Dairy Sour Cream

2 tbsp. Onion Soup Mix*
2 oz. Blue Cheese, crumbled*
1/3 c. Chopped Walnuts*

Thoroughly combine sour cream and onion soup mix; stir in remaining ingredients. Makes about 2 cups.

* Denotes other quality Shurfine® products

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Chips and Dip

When thinking of dips, I don’t think many people expect a crunch to their dip. Usually the crunch is related to the dipee; whether it be chips, vegetables or other items. I would expect a dip to be smooth. Even dips with tomato chunks are still semi-smooth.

The makers of Shur Fine chips differ with me. They offer an alternate view using walnuts in the dip. I am dumbfounded by their recipe and, honestly, too chicken to try it out. I, unfortunately, lost the recipe to share with y’all. If you’re very interested in trying it out…go get yourself a Shur Fine chip bag and let me know your verdict.

Stack 'em Up

When we are in an overeater family, it’s everyman for himself. The battlefield is in the kitchen or the dining room table. What a gruesome battle; Grabbing as much as you can possibly stuff down during the first round, because in the second round you will find nothing!

When I housesit, I find myself not having to eat as much and *gasp* even throwing away food. Something just triggers the overeater in me, once I get home, and I have to eat to survive. I have to enjoy everything now, because there will be no later.

My brother, on the other hand, has taken this cycle and continued it towards his living arrangement. He explained that – even at his work – when they have donuts…he’s on his third, while others are finishing their first. Same goes for pizza and other food brought during the lunch breaks.

Why must we do this? Why can’t we tell our mind, “It’s okay to have a little bit. If you need more, you can go get some at the store.” We, inevitably, perpetuate this binge cycle with others. We incite a panic with others when they see us grabbing our food. Then they, in response, stack up their plate with food. Oh my gosh…what do we do when we see them? Yup…it’s a vicious cycle.

"On Death and Dying"

Yes, my friends, we will be taking a morbid turn of events and travel to the dark side. Whilst I grieve and mourn the loss of my grandpa, I look into the grim world of death and decay. I chose to limit my apparel to all black and outline my eye with deep black eyeliner to reveal the strife within.

Nah, I’m just joshing you. Yes, I am grieving. My other grandpa died when I was very young. I lost the only grandpa I had growing up. So, of course, there is grief. However, my sanity is found in psychology; the stages of grief to be exact. I’m coping through having the ability to try and determine others and my state of mind and placing them and myself within these groups. It is in our human nature to seek meaning and categorize. Why fight it? Especially, when I could find solace during these moments of grief.

 “On Death and Dying” is a book, written by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, which was inspired by working with terminally ill patients. The hypothesis stated that, when facing loss or death, a person experiences several emotional stages. These stages are not chronologically defined; one may move through these stages or jump back and forth between stages. They are also not complete; there may be more emotional experiences one must endure or they may not experience every stage presented.

Many people have come to accept the five-stages of grief, though its validity has not been tested. Some, like Recover from Grief, have found that there are additional stages to consider. I will be addressing these stages as we go along.

My Ally and Advocate

My grandpa passed away August 16, 2012. It’s been really difficult. He was my ally and my advocate. At the viewing, I was amongst the traditional Mexican family members. Your worth is judged by your appearance, significant other and how many children you have. My grandpa never really placed value on that. He emphasized education and having a career. He place importance on my talents…the gifts God gave me. He stood by the decisions I made and understood my stance on why I chose to live the way I do.

I always had a difficult time communicating with him, despite this bond we shared. I think it was his strength. He was a strong man who valued a strong work ethic. He fixed things properly and did not take a band-aid approach. He critiqued my bedroom when I decided to paint it for the very first time…he wasn’t easy to please, but, with his comments, I wasn’t belittled or hurt. I was able to grow and do a better job for the next time. Perhaps, I was intimidated by him and that’s why I couldn’t communicate better? Could it have been the fact that I didn’t know how to respond to him? I’m not sure.

I didn’t get my strength from him, however. My grandma raised me to be strong and be my own person. I cannot deny her that fact. No, I was not a strong person due to my grandpa. I was a compassionate person, because of him. You can have all the strength in the world, but, without compassion, life can become very tiresome and rough. Compassion is what makes us human. We acknowledge and seek to alleviate others suffering. To be compassionate is to have enough strength within us to share with others. We teach others how to be strong and how to share the wealth of strength within us. We give in the hopes that they will share what has been given. We teach so that they will learn and educate others along the way. He taught me what compassion is about.

I have his lessons to rely on and memories to hold close to my heart. Yet, I still feel alone amongst the family members. I have lost my ally and that is a difficult concept to grasp.

Social Pariah

“All mankind is of one author, and is of one volume; when one man dies, one chapter is not torn out of the book, but translated into a better language; and every chapter must be so translated…As therefore the bell that rings to a sermon, calls not upon the preacher only, but upon the congregation to come: so this bell calls us all: but how much more me, who am brought so near the door by this sickness…No man is an island, entire of itself…any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”¹ “Human beings do not thrive when isolated from others;” therefore, we must look outward to work on ourselves. What we do creates the butterfly effect and plays a role in other patterns.

What does that mean for me? I like my island very much and I like to travel to my island a lot. Sometimes the natives kick me out – they think I’m crazy – but for the most part I enjoy my solitude on my lovely island with unicorns and rainbows. I understand the need for us to look outward in order for us to grow. A lifetime isn’t enough time to learn all of one’s mistakes…we must learn from each other. On a more personal note, I feel that our soul isn’t pretty unless we seek to better society through helping others achieve their goals. With that said…what is the big hubbub about being with others?

I am a social pariah. I am a single woman at twenty-nine years old. I have never been married and, well, never been in a serious relationship. The closest to a long term relationship I had was with a guy for three months and it closely resembled “Shaimee’s” relationship from “The Big Bang Theory.” “One must kiss many frogs before she finds her prince,” I have been told MANY, countless times. My theory is…why the heck am I going to go around kissing frogs and getting warts when I can just spot the frog with the crown and kiss him?

I know what I want in life. I know what kind of man I want in life. Until I find him, I’m going to be single and happy. I have gone to restaurants alone, movies alone and played the third wheel many times. However, I try to enjoy myself and, besides playing the third wheel, I have enjoyed my “me time” immensely.

Of course, no man is an island and, when one tends to prefer single-dom, society has a tendency to berate those who have their islands…for reasons unknown to me. Single women have the labels of being ugly or high-maintenance. There is also a new label coming out that single women are shallow. Since when is it bad to not settle? We push our children to do their best and aim for the starts. Why can’t we do the same in relationships? How come people feel the need to pair others up, when they have nothing in common? Why must we kiss every frog instead of waiting for that one with the crown?

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1) Donne, John. (2012). Devotions upon emergent occasions and seuerall steps in my sickness –Meditation XVII, 1624. Retrieved from The Phrase Finder.

Wally's Vendetta

I’ve never liked Wal-Mart. Wally World and I have a hate-hate relationship. I hate Wally and he hates me. We’ve grown to accept that as a fact of life. There are times I try to make amends and go visit Wally. I find that I’m low on sugar or milk. Oh, no…Wally reminds me of his vendetta against me. Yes, indeed, he does have a vendetta against me.

One thing about Wal-Mart, there is absolutely no space. There is no space for people, no space for stockers and no space for privacy. I have, on many occasions, found shoppers checking out my cart for one reason or another. Why is that? Why must they feel the need to seek entertainment in other people’s carts?!?

The worst grocery-seeking shoppers are the elderly women. I have learned to take my iPod and plug my earphones in to avoid shopper contact. Yet, these women have no regards to music-loving avoidances. Time and time again, I feel the tap on my shoulder or the breath down my neck. My spine shivers as I turn to see the denture-smiling face. I, then, have to pull out my earphones and say, “Oh, I’m sorry. I was listening to my music;” Thus inviting a conversation.

One of the worst conversations I had was in the television dinner isle. One lady stopped me to ask why I have so many TV dinners. In response, I explained that I like to have them for dinner. “A lady like [me] should really learn how to cook,” was her response. Of course, she had to include the infamous, “How will you find yourself a nice husband if you can’t cook?” In an attempt to throw her off loop, I quickly responded, “I’m married.”

“Well, then, why don’t you wear a wedding ring?”

Darn, she got me there…

Once again, Wally, your vendetta against me is clear!

Don't Push Me

“Bully”

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Noun : Corned Beef

Noun : Person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker

Noun : Person who hurts, persecutes, or intimidates weaker people

Noun : Person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, expecially to smaller or weaker people

Noun : A hired ruffian; a thug

Noun : A pimp

Verb : Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants

Verb : To make (one’s way) aggressively

Verb : To treat in an overbearing or intimidating manner

Adjective : Very good; first-rate

Exclamation : An expression of admiration or approval

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Need I go on? Granted, most of these are archaic…the ones defining “bully” in a positive manner. Nonetheless, there are your definitions taken from google, the free dictionary and other various internet dictionary sources. I, personally, like the “Corned Beef” explanation.

Bullies and bullying has been widely discussed through various mediums. News media cover the public displays of bullying. Twitter and YouTube cover youths (sometimes adults) at the scene of the bullying incidents. Even Comedy Central’s“South Park” did a show about bullying. We have internet articles on defining and preventing bullying. There are programs out there to help those who are bullied. Yet, the battle lives on and these Corned Beefs continue to make their way aggressively.

There are many kinds of bullies…from childhood through adults, real life and cyber life…we can find bullying everywhere. I have, yet, to understand why people do what they do. For bullies to perpetuate such hate, it must be damaging to their soul. Mustn’t it? For the victims searching many ways to prevent such hate from infecting their soul…that has got to be rough. At the same time, I am a realist and – as much as you may hate what I am about to say – there will always be bullies and there will always be victims; Just like we will always have the rich and the poor. It will never stop. As a matter of fact, trying to stop it will, often, make it worse for the victim. It’s sad, I know, but true.

I work with many kids, including bullies. Yes, I try to enlighten them of their ways, but it is very challenging and time-consuming to do so. At the same time, I work with the victims of such abuse. It’s easier to work with the victims, because they want change! They want to be stronger and not be bullied anymore. How do I help them? I tell them to quit whining and stand up strong…ready to fight. I teach them easy hits – I learned back in the day when I had to fight guys twice my size, because they groped me – and how to bring the “big boys”down. The hardest part, though, is telling them these things and knowing that their parents are saying, “Just ignore them. When you get older…you’ll be better off than them.”

I choose to believe it’s true. I want to believe that the victims of today will be the Bill Gates of tomorrow. Yet, how can you tell a child who is at the end of his or her rope to “just ignore them.” This is why we have victim deaths. We don’t provide them with the tools they need to survive the wild. We are leaving them out in a battlefield with no weapon and no backup. The backup we do provide – telling an authority figure or enlisting the help of programs – only make things worse for these victims. We need the weak to become strong.

One of my most challenging, soul-searching bully backup is when a child must face an adult bully. We train our children to behave and be submissive to adults. Then we have such ignoramuses bullying children, because they aren’t Corned Beef enough to handle their own age group. How do we fix that? To be honest, where are the websites addressing those issues?

Nowhere…Why? We want our children in the school system to be emotion-less robots. Instead of raising children to do what is polite, how about raising them to politely question things and people? It not only helps them to learn that it’s okay to ask questions, but also shows that it’s okay to ask adults question when something doesn’t seem quite right. The most intelligent people have questioned authority figures. They have also gotten in trouble a lot, but that is our job…to protect children when they do have questions…not silence them.

One of the children that I work with is a victim of bullying. He is a victim of dog attacks, peer attacks and adult mind games. I can see the self-esteem dwindle and all I want to do is show him how to fight back, how to politely question authority and how to call out a bully when he meets one. Unfortunately, I am not his parent and don’t have the authority to do so.

Like I said before, we will always have the rich and poor, the users and abusers, the bullies and the victims. It is only when we provide the tools required to strengthen the weak; that is when we can minimize the outcome of bullies. We are not training bullies. We are training survivors.

Way Past the Fifteen Day Mark

I had been hoping that, after fifteen days, I would have amazing news to share with ya’ll. “Hey guys! It’s been past fifteen days of working out and I lost one hundred pounds!” Okay, maybe not that amazing...but I was hoping for something great to share about my progress. Unfortunately, you all get to hear that I have worked out TWICE in fifteen days. Yes, yes, I added an extra workout since the my previous posting. Good for me! Ha, ha.

After my workout, I went into my closet. Did you know I only have two shirts – both are t-shirts – that fit me? Also, we mustn’t forget my one pair of holey-jeans. So, I went to Kohl’s to buy some shirts. I love Kohl’s. They have fatty clothes that are still stylish. Wal-Mart tries very hard, but fatties look fatter in Wally World’s apparel. I have Lane Bryant, but that’s an hour’s drive away…with the gas prices so high, I ain’t driving that far for apparel.

As I came home, ready to hang my TWO b-e-a-utiful Kohl’s shirts in my closet, I noticed that I have no closet space! Clothes that don’t fit me are being selfish and taking up all my closet space. It’s bad enough that they are hating on me and refuse to stretch to my size, but to take up ALL my closet space…? How rude!

I contemplated what to do. I have clothes from when I was a size eight in my storage. Before I realize, they – too – will be hanging in my closet…someday…but I digress. I don’t want to donate or trash my apparel, because – with just a couple plus ten, maybe fifteen, pounds – I will be able to wear those clothes again. So, storage unit it is!

I went to Staple’s to buy boxes. “I need one box for my thin sweaters, one box for my thick sweaters…oh, heck, let’s just get all of the boxes.” Then I got started working. As I was packing, I remembered that I stored – okay stuffed –clothes that were two sizes smaller in my cabinet. “Well, since I’m packing, I might as well store those too!” So, I pulled those clothes out of my cabinet. Then, such a great idea hit my head like a hammer to a nail, “I should get my storage clothes and sort those out also!” The beginning of a BIG project came to be.

I, now, sleep on the couch with my two dogs accompanying me. Then, in the mornings, I look into my bedroom – the only private place where I can work out– and think, “I need to finish this; so, I can exercise!” It’s been five days of clothes organizing and storage. Whose great idea was this anyway!?!

Chick Channels

I am not a fan of “chick channels.”Women’s Entertainment, Lifetime, Style…name it…I am not a fan. The messages these channels send are atrocious, but these channels are car accidents for me. Despite my disdain for the chosen programming that these producers play, I cannot help myself from watching these shows. I can feel the anger, frustration, the shock from watching the programs, but I fail to turn the channel and just say “NO” to this horrible drug of mine. I am weak and admittedly have no plans on strengthening my will power to be able to look away from such mindless dribble. After all, I feel more intelligent and my life looks a lot better after watching others in a far worse predicament than myself.

 

No wonder singles desperately seek companionship. We have so many wedding shows promoting how it’s better to be miserable and married than to be happily single. Yes, I have planned how my wedding dress will look and that I want a tasty (and huge) wedding cake. However, I am happy to be single rather than be in an unhealthy relationship. I wonder why in the world some of these men would choose to be in a relationship with a whiney, a ghetto get-in-your-face, or a lush bridezilla. I question the sanity of these brides who cry at the sight of a wrinkled wedding dress or a dress that has become too tight or too loose. Have these brides heard about steam cleaning, ironing, alterations...the fact that the world does not end because of a fixable situation? Enough complaints, ladies, just say “yes” to a dress! You can alter it later.

 

The way these girls behave is shockingly abhorrent and I can’t believe how people would accept or even tolerate such behavior. Yet, these channels are gaining profit and celibritizing these brides…thus promoting and perpetuating such behavior. I can’t really chastise these programmers, though. After all, people, like me, are finding themselves to be passerby’s to such a car wreck resulting in supporting such behaviors. Because of my decision (as well as other viewers) to not change the channel, we are not only playing a significant role by promoting this behavior, but we are also allowing our females to believe that marriage is the way to go in life. Don’t give me Sex in the City…that’s just as trashy and misguided as the “chick channels.” Where are the stories about single women who live responsibly and don’t need to be married or need to “use” men to get what they want? Oh, wait, that’s like watching cars driving on the street…not interesting at all…car wrecks are much better to watch. Now, I understand.

 

Despite the drama-filled shows, I stand up on my soap box shouting out (figuratively) to all of my readers (which total two):

Let us STOP the perpetual insanity and change the channel.

Let us not promote such interesting filth.

Let us watch something educational that teaches us how to better ourselves.

Let us…..

Let us finish reading this blog, because Jerseylicious has just begun.

 

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Until next time…happy viewing whatever blog, email, or show you choose to watch.

 

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Pipe Cleaner Madness

I had been helping with a dress rehearsal the other day. It brought back many memories…from the days I was a performer to the days I helped others perform. I watched moms panicking from losing a child, while the child was standing right in front of them. There were people worried about the order of the performance. Others had to soothe crying children.

The children were in their own little world – having fun coloring and playing with pipe cleaners while watching the Barbie fairy movie – not noticing all the chaos around them. One of the parents warned me about “the little troublemaker.” She causes so much trouble for the girls in her group as well as picking on all the older girls. They, unknowingly, told me something that I already figured out. You see, I had already met her and knew exactly what to expect.

As the girls grew more comfortable with me, they would show me their pipe cleaner masterpieces. Some had bracelets; others made necklaces. “The little troublemaker” came up to show me her work of art…two pipe cleaners twisted together at one end and open at the other.

“Oh, look! You made a ‘V’.” I said to her.

She shook her head and I was left to guess again at her work of art.

“No? Well, it looks so great. What is it???” I asked…mainly, because I hate guessing.

A devilish grin spread across her face as she growled her answer to me, “HORNS!!!”

On the Go with Two and a Half House Sitting Jobs

It’s been really difficult sticking to any sort of nutrition plan with two and a half housesitting jobs. The half house sitting job requires me to go three times a day. Of course, when do we go? Breakfast time, lunch time and dinner time. So, rather than cooking, I have my fifteen year old chauffer drop by fast food joints and we get stuff to eat. Oh, yes, I know there are healthy choices available. Do I choose them? Of course not. Would you choose brussel sprouts over cupcakes?

Obviously, after the fact, I looked up caloric intake of my favorites that I was guaranteed to order. Breakfast, I had a McDonald’s Big Breakfast with Hot Cakes Platter…1,150 calories. On a healthy diet, one should consume 1,200 calories in a day. Moving to lunch…Sonic Route 44 Cherry Limeade? Yup, that’s 460 calories. We went during the two for one...so, double that. Had about two or three slices of pizza from Little Caesar’s for dinner time. I don’t even want to research that one. I’ve already gone a day and a half of calories in one day. This can’t be good…

House Sitting Jobs and Routines

It is always a challenge trying to maintain a routine while house sitting. I have, well, I try to have a consistent morning and evening routine to keep my nutrition and fitness goals in check. When I housesit, though, the entire routine becomes nonexistent. After all, I’m having to follow the owners routines (water the plants, feed the animals, etc.) based on their time frame and schedules. It’s very difficult trying to mesh both routines. Then, if they have futuristic technology – which most of them do – that I have no clue how to work, I’m left without my morning video workout.

I am not unhappy with any of my house sitting jobs. I love something that I get paid for. However, it’s a challenge to lose weight when I am house sitting, because of the reasons stated. I have some upcoming jobs and it will be interesting to see how this goes.

Diary of a Fatty Slimdown

Hooray for you; hooray for me! I have finally decided which fitness program to do and I, actually, got off my bottom to do it. Unfortunately, I lasted thirteen minutes and forty-five seconds. Then it took forty-five minutes and thirteen seconds for my beat-red, lobster face to turn back to its normal color. I’m just kidding…I don’t know how long it took to turn back to its normal color, but it was long.

I am starting Beachbody’s Insanity workout, which is not for the faint-hearted; probably not for me, either, but I don’t care. I started with the fit test and couldn’t complete it. That is probably a sign that I need to find another workout program. However, I’m going try something different. Hear me out…

I will try the program and mark down my time where I passed out. I will slowly build the amount of time I worked out, until I can finish a video. The workout is so intense that I have to be getting SOMETHING in thirteen minutes. Right? Something is better than nothing.

Wish me luck!

Can I Outlast My Jeans

I’m on a race to the finish line and I think I’m losing. My pants – originally fatty pants – are now designer jeans. I have transformed them into holy-jeans. What many pay extra for…I have gotten it through hard work and clumsiness. However, I need nicer jeans. I can’t have holes in them! So, instead of paying for a new pair of jeans, I have decided to try and lose weight to fit into my not-so-thinner pants.

It’s on now! I’m racing against my jeans. Who will win? My jeans are ahead…

Slow Down

There is a certain, almost magical, power you lose as you age. You become mortal. The power that allows you to live forever, immortality, disappears. I am not saying I am old...I'm not. I’m explaining that, with time, you realize that your, once immortal, self is weakened and cannot withstand feats of near-death stunts for cool points. For example, with age, we learn that trying to see how fast your old jalopy can go and gunning the gas to try and make the speedometer reach the triple digits defines the absence of intelligence not the presence of coolness. We, ol' fogies, also think of the cost it will take to fix our old jalopy for attempting this cool factor stunt, because trying this stunt will inevitably lead to our jalopy breaking down. With age comes responsibility. With responsibility comes lack of cool points. My cool factor has come down considerably with age, but I’m still alive. That’s gotta’ count for something.

My neighbors are known for their driving skills. We have many young ‘uns and they love to rush home, pushing forty through the neighborhood…as I once did. We also have many fine feathered-hair retirees who love to let drivers know that they are speeding. I, my fellow bloggers’, am one of the wannabe' young ‘uns. Yes, I still race home almost pushing thirty when, I know, I should be going twenty-five. I am living on the edge, people. Better watch out!

A fellow feathered-hair retiree made me aware of my wild ways, one day. He was sporting the topless look with plaid shorts, knee-high white socks, and loafers when warning me of my speed. Where was Carson Kressley during this straight guy’s time? Oh, but I digress. As I sped by him, at twenty-seven miles per hour, he signaled for me to slow down. Yes, with age comes responsibility. So, I promised to slow down to the speed limit…every time I pass his house.

Week two came and, as I approached his house, my Olivia danced around twenty-three miles per hour. To his dismay, I had not slowed down enough and he was compelled to wave his arms about in order to catch my attention and persuade me to slow down. After much thought, I decided that I should slow down. After all, there are a lot of parked cars, walls, bushes, and trees that can become a hazard and provide blind spots. We do have children and, at twenty-five miles per hour, there is still room for mishaps.

I had become proud with myself. By week three, I became the MOST responsible adult you could have seen driving in a neighborhood. Pushing ten miles an hour in the neighborhood and frustrating every car that followed behind my Olivia, I made sure that there would be no mishaps with children and happy old people. I knew that my fellow neighbor would be excited to see my newly changed ways! As I drove by his house, he fervently signaled to me and mouthed the words “SLOW DOWN.” My jaw dropped. I could not believe what happened. There is no pleasing him! So, I held both of my hands up, while steering with my knees, and mouthed back “10 MILES.” How dare he imply that I’m not a careful driver!

Three weeks I had dealt with that ingrate. I acknowledged his plea and followed through. Would he have preferred I parked my car outside the neighborhood and walked home?!? Heck no! I wouldn't do that. I'd get run over. All of those bushes and parked cars are hazards...not to mention those crazy young 'uns speeding through the neighborhood. There's no way that I would have done that. The more I thought about the situation, the more infuriated I became. So, I decided…no more. I would not play his game anymore.

Week four came and I was done pleasing him. I still drove ten miles per hour in the neighborhood. It was, after all, a good idea…a safe idea…a responsible idea. I am older and I need to be responsible. So, of course, I didn’t plan on speeding up. Plus, travelling under ten miles per hour gave me the opportunity to listen to my favorites songs for a longer period. This drive, however, would be different. As I drove by his house, I slowed down. I cruised by at three miles per hour. Ol’ fancy shorts stared me down and I shifted into neutral. This would be my game, now. I waited for the perfect moment. I revved my engine to show how wild and crazy I could get…then I peeled out at seven, almost ten, miles an hour.

I have to admit, I earned my cool points that time!

Diary of a Fatty Slimdown

“Just do it…Cold Turkey.” I think to myself. Eat healthy. Get my butt off the couch and exercise, instead of watching them exercise while I’m thinking, “You’re effin’ kidding me!”

I’m not doing it “Cold Turkey,” though. I have done that many times and fail miserably on the second day. That’s if I’m lucky. Usually, by the afternoon, I’m watching television and a pizza commercial comes on – zoom over to me –and, there I am, “Yes, could I have your meat lover’s pizza? For delivery…to my couch, please.”

I’m going to start with exercise. I notice that, somehow, I feel better and eat less when I exercise more. It messes with the endorphins and makes me fly up to cloud nine. Better than LSD, not that I have any ground to base that on.

Tough decision coming up. What program should I try first? As most fatties have, I find a plethora of choices in my exercise library. Different Firm programs, Tae-Bo, Step Aerobics (one of my favorites), Exercise ball programs and Beachbody programs…what to do?!? What to do?!?

Top Three Reasons for Using Time Out

Dr. Arthur Staat, during the 1950’s, took psychology into a new realm. His study on psychological behaviorism practiced reinforcement to adjust preferred behaviorisms. His “time-out” method incorporated previous theorists and his studies on “behavior modification, behavior therapy, behavioral analysis, and behavioral assessment.”¹ Commonly practiced among classrooms and households during modern day, experts have modified the time-out method. Some theorists place objects in time-out, rather than the child; while others assign no time limit and no “time-out spot” for time out, labeling it “personal time” to reflect.

When I began teaching preschool two-year-olds, I fervently preached how the role of time-out is overrated and unnecessary. After witnessing serious behavioral issues in the classroom, I quickly learned that the time-out method can be a beneficial disciplinary tool when the use is limited and time-out is performed with efficient and effective methods. Time-out is a big deal and, if we overuse or abuse the time-out method to address every undesired behavior, the potential role time-out plays will be minimalized. I have found that reducing time-out to three main underlying causes will emphasize the unacceptability of one’s actions.

Reason One: Superiority Complex

The theory of “Individual Psychology,” coined by Alfred Adler, incorporated the following aspects: “the development of personality, striving towards superiority, psychological health, and the unity of personality.”² Adler termed both inferior and superior complex, noting that it is our inferior complex that motivates us to reach our superior complex and vice versa. Since then, theorists have expanded on the complexes. Some negate the fact that the two do not need to be present or that the basis of the complex can stem from other sources, such as an inflated ego or narcissistic behavior.

It is important for adults to discover the reasoning behind a child’s superiority complex. Through treating the initial cause of the complex, one is able to prevent further continuation of the behavior. At the same time, the behavior needs to be addressed. Therefore, we use time-out as a supportive means to reflect on and tackle the attitude.

Reason Two: Harming Self

Similar to the superiority complex described in reason one, this plays a pivotal role in discipline. More than likely, reason one and two intertwine with each other when handling issues regarding the child harming him- or her- self. This instance involves the child knowing more than the adult and proceeding in an action that will result in self-injury.

Reason Three: Harming Others

Once a child is able to understand emotions, we are able to teach empathy. What many fellow co-workers of mine consider “the hippy approach,” it, in fact, teaches children how to love and be nice to one another, how to communicate emotions and how to understand that one’s actions causes a chain reaction and affects others.

When a child hurts another person, no matter what the age, it is important that the child understands the seriousness of the action. Therefore, time out is a rare occurrence, but signifies the importance of how not to treat others.

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1) Emeritus. (2012). Biography. In Arthur W. Staats & Psychological Behaviorism. Retrieved from http://www2.hawaii.edu/~staats/bio.htm

2) Fisher, Molly. (2001). Theory. In Alfred Adler. Retrieved from http://www.muskingum.edu/~psych/psycweb/history/adler.htm#Theory

I think I can

My turtle is purposely challenging me. Perhaps, I think, he has it in for me. I think he is showing me up. I have done a total of one work out since I decided to begin my fitness regimen…and that workout totaled fifteen minutes of exercise and forty-five minutes of trying to get my face to not look beat-lobster-red. I can whine and complain about all the time-consuming events that occurred since my last workout, but – fact of the matter is – I didn’t work out…bottom line.

 

On the other hand – ever since I discovered this really cool water filtration rock for reptiles – my aquatic turtle, Filburt-Sebastian, has been plugging away at that rock. On his first day, it took him (almost) the entire day to climb up that ginormous rock. I was very tempted to step in and take Filburt-Sebastian off of the rock – for fear of him hurting himself – but, he peaked my curiosity, I wanted to see where he was going with his hiking trip. As days passed, Filburt-Sebastian worked harder and harder. Every morning, I would find him ploughing away. It was almost like “The Little Train that Could;” actually, it was exactly like “The Little Train that Could.” Before I knew it, that little sucker was taking two to three trips up and down that mountain each day.

 

Now, he greets me daily atop his rock – basking in all his glory – mocking me.

I think I like my dog, Apollo, even more now…

…hike your way back May 1st.