“Bully”
Noun : Corned Beef
Noun : Person who
uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker
Noun : Person who
hurts, persecutes, or intimidates weaker people
Noun : Person who is
habitually cruel or overbearing, expecially to smaller or weaker people
Noun : A hired
ruffian; a thug
Noun : A pimp
Verb : Use superior
strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to
do what one wants
Verb : To make (one’s
way) aggressively
Verb : To treat in an
overbearing or intimidating manner
Adjective : Very
good; first-rate
Exclamation : An
expression of admiration or approval
Need I go on?
Granted, most of these are archaic…the ones defining “bully” in a positive
manner. Nonetheless, there are your definitions taken from google, the free
dictionary and other various internet dictionary sources. I, personally, like
the “Corned Beef” explanation.
Bullies and bullying
has been widely discussed through various mediums. News media cover the public
displays of bullying. Twitter and YouTube cover youths (sometimes adults) at
the scene of the bullying incidents. Even Comedy Central’s“South Park” did a
show about bullying. We have internet articles on defining and preventing
bullying. There are programs out there to help those who are bullied. Yet, the
battle lives on and these Corned Beefs continue to make their way aggressively.
There are many kinds
of bullies…from childhood through adults, real life and cyber life…we can find
bullying everywhere. I have, yet, to understand why people do what they do. For
bullies to perpetuate such hate, it must be damaging to their soul. Mustn’t it?
For the victims searching many ways to prevent such hate from infecting their
soul…that has got to be rough. At the same time, I am a realist and – as much
as you may hate what I am about to say – there will always be bullies and there
will always be victims; Just like we will always have the rich and the poor. It
will never stop. As a matter of fact, trying to stop it will, often, make it
worse for the victim. It’s sad, I know, but true.
I work with many
kids, including bullies. Yes, I try to enlighten them of their ways, but it is
very challenging and time-consuming to do so. At the same time, I work with the
victims of such abuse. It’s easier to work with the victims, because they want
change! They want to be stronger and not be bullied anymore. How do I help
them? I tell them to quit whining and stand up strong…ready to fight. I teach
them easy hits – I learned back in the day when I had to fight guys twice my
size, because they groped me – and how to bring the “big boys”down. The hardest
part, though, is telling them these things and knowing that their parents are
saying, “Just ignore them. When you get older…you’ll be better off than them.”
I choose to believe
it’s true. I want to believe that the victims of today will be the Bill Gates
of tomorrow. Yet, how can you tell a child who is at the end of his or her rope
to “just ignore them.” This is why we have victim deaths. We don’t provide them
with the tools they need to survive the wild. We are leaving them out in a
battlefield with no weapon and no backup. The backup we do provide – telling an
authority figure or enlisting the help of programs – only make things worse for
these victims. We need the weak to become strong.
One of my most
challenging, soul-searching bully backup is when a child must face an adult
bully. We train our children to behave and be submissive to adults. Then we
have such ignoramuses bullying children, because they aren’t Corned Beef enough
to handle their own age group. How do we fix that? To be honest, where are the
websites addressing those issues?
Nowhere…Why? We want
our children in the school system to be emotion-less robots. Instead of raising
children to do what is polite, how about raising them to politely question
things and people? It not only helps them to learn that it’s okay to ask
questions, but also shows that it’s okay to ask adults question when something
doesn’t seem quite right. The most intelligent people have questioned authority
figures. They have also gotten in trouble a lot, but that is our job…to protect
children when they do have questions…not silence them.
One of the children
that I work with is a victim of bullying. He is a victim of dog attacks, peer
attacks and adult mind games. I can see the self-esteem dwindle and all I want
to do is show him how to fight back, how to politely question authority and how
to call out a bully when he meets one. Unfortunately, I am not his parent and
don’t have the authority to do so.
Like I said before, we will always have
the rich and poor, the users and abusers, the bullies and the victims. It is
only when we provide the tools required to strengthen the weak; that is when we
can minimize the outcome of bullies. We are not training bullies. We are
training survivors.